Vulnerability can be defined as susceptibility to a negative outcome or the state of being unprotected from some type of danger or harmful experience. People who are vulnerable may experience feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension due to the risk they experience for some type of harm.

Definition(s): Weakness in an information system, system security procedures, internal controls, or implementation that could be exploited or triggered by a threat source.

Vulnerability is a weakness or some area where you are exposed or at risk. If you are running for political office and you don’t want anyone to find out about a scandal in your past, the scandal is an example of a vulnerability.

Connected to the idea of weakness is the sense that vulnerability equals neediness. This is probably the top reason why vulnerability is hard for me. I don’t do neediness. But vulnerability only translates to unhealthy neediness when your sense of who you are is dependent on people and factors outside of yourself.

He expresses what he’s feeling. This is everything. When your man starts to talk about what’s on his mind, confess his true feelings for you, tell you he loves you, or even cry in front of you—that is him being his most vulnerable. This is vulnerability.

Do some emotion-focused journaling. Part of what makes being emotionally vulnerable hard is that we have all these thoughts and feelings in our heads, but we rarely express them and articulate them. This means we don’t feel very confident in our ability to talk about our feelings in a coherent way.

Vulnerability is closely related to authenticity. We can’t be fully authentic without first being vulnerable. This willingness to be deeply open and transparent makes us irresistible to a man. One reason vulnerability is so attractive to a man is that he has a deep need to be needed and to be protective of us.

The definition of defenseless is someone or something completely vulnerable that has no form of protection or no means of protection.

Here are some ideas on how to be vulnerable, even if vulnerability isn’t your natural thing:

1. Accept that you have issues…on the inside.
2. Develop emotional vocabulary.
3. Discern safe people and places.
4. Describe what’s happening on the inside.
5. Impress people with how you share, not what you share.
6. Commit to regular practice.

Being vulnerable means sharing yourself, honestly and openly. Vulnerability involves letting the emotional walls of anger down to expose the more raw feelings of pain and love. A recent example for me was during an argument with my husband.

Being vulnerable helps us ask for what we want and avoid stonewalling (shutting down or distancing ourselves from a partner). It allows us to build trust in others and to become fully engaged in an intimate relationship. Being vulnerable allows us to open our heart — to give and receive love fully.

How To Be More Vulnerable

1. Identify the people in your life who display vulnerability.
2. Ease into it.
3. Take the time to clarify your feelings and keep checking in with yourself.
4. Validate your partner’s feelings.
5. When figuring out how to bring up a concern with your partner, use a “soft startup.”

Being vulnerable involves the following actions:

1. Ask for what you need. When we’re hurting, it’s easy to dismiss our pain or try to protect ourselves and the people around us by closing off.
2. Be willing to expose your feelings.
3. Say what you want.
4. Express what you really think.
5. Slow down and be present.